Grace for Self
This part of the series is deeply personal. I’m trusting you won’t judge me too harshly—because if I’m honest, there’s no one harder on me… than me.
I’ve called myself more names and scolded myself more fiercely than any boss or enemy ever could. You know how it goes: you catch your reflection in the mirror, shake your head, and mutter, “What an idiot. What did you just do?”
A little over twenty years ago, I was in the middle of a transitional assignment with a congregation that had just split in two. One half went across town to join the former pastor in starting a new church. The other half stayed behind—trying to pick up the pieces, lick their wounds, and somehow survive.
Friendships were broken. Families were divided. Accusations flew in every direction. And I arrived in a weakened state of my own. My previous pastorate had been difficult—draining, to say the least. But still, here I was: a servant of my Father, eager to please Him with all I had left.
After a particularly difficult lunch meeting one day, I was driving out of town, headed back to my office at the church. Frustration mounted. I caught myself pounding the steering wheel, calling myself every name in the book. I was furious—furious that I wasn’t smart enough, savvy enough, educated enough. I was angry that I wasn’t enough. I felt like the dumbest guy in the room.
I pulled up to a stoplight at the bypass, took a breath, and absentmindedly turned on the radio—just some local oldies station with news and music. At that very moment, Billy Joel’s song, Just the Way You Are was playing.
And right then, the line came through: “I couldn’t love you any better, I love you just the way you are.” I reached over, turned the radio off, and wept.
That moment began a journey of grace for me.
It was as if God Himself whispered: “I knew exactly who you were when I called you. I know every fault, every insecurity, every scar. But I also know your strengths. And I know what you and I can do—together. So stop the madness. Trust Me to do My work through you.”
And then it hit me—if I am a child of God, called according to His purpose, then those harsh conversations I was having with myself… were aimed at someone He deeply loves. I was speaking against one of His own. I was angry with one of His servants. My attitude toward myself was completely out of sync with how God sees me.
I was berating one of His children—me.
Matthew 22:37–40:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
I once heard that passage summed up this way—love God, love people, love yourself! It is about looking at ourselves and others through the redemptive lenses of God’s love and grace.
So what would I tell my younger self? Your Heavenly Father loves you with an everlasting love. He sees all the imperfections, all the struggles—and He still loves you. He has called you. And you are His… period.